Two Small Footprints in Wet Sand by Anne-Dauphine Julliand

Author:Anne-Dauphine Julliand
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Arcade Publishing
Published: 2014-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

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AN INFERNAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL. ONLY A WEEK AFTER THAïS came home, when she finally has regained her bearings and some of her strength, there are new complications. She’s in pain again. Terrible pain.

The episodes are increasingly frequent and violent. Of course, we have a whole armada of drugs to give her relief, but the pain resists them, and the attacks are getting longer. They can happen at any time, with no warning, and end in the same way as they have started. They can be over in a flash or can go on and on for an hour. However long they last, they have one thing in common: They’re unbearable. These excesses of suffering leave Thaïs exhausted and propel any witnesses into a state of shock.

This afternoon everything is calm in Thaïs’s bedroom. She and I are huddled next to each other on the bed, listening to a story, when one of these attacks erupts—the most painful I’ve ever seen, the most traumatizing. I’ll never be able to describe the scene. There’s nothing worse than watching, powerless, as your child suffers. Nothing.

Never again. I never want her to suffer again. It’s unbearable. We need to use more drastic measures, move up a notch, put every wheel in motion to ensure this stops. Right now.

Once Thaïs is calmer, I call the hospital. I’m still in shock, my fingers shaking as I dial, and my eyesight blurred by tears. When I explain the situation to the doctor, he decides to have Thaïs hospitalized immediately.

I have time only to gather the minimum requirements for a hospital stay, not forgetting the indispensable lullaby CD, before the ambulance arrives outside our building. A few minutes later, it’s sweeping up to the hospital door, all sirens screaming. The journey has triggered another attack. I heard the driver commenting quietly, “Oh, my God, it’s not possible to be in that much pain,” before pressing his foot a little harder on the gas.

Zero tolerance. Confronted with pain, hospitals apply clear and precise instructions: On no grounds, under no circumstances, is a patient allowed to suffer. Even less so if it’s a child. The thinking has changed: I remember when I was a girl having to grit my teeth and hold back my tears while the doctor assured me, “It won’t hurt. Come, you’re a very brave little girl.” Well, yes it was painful getting all those stitches without anesthetic! He could at least have admitted it. In the past, they got rid of pain by denying it. That logic is now outdated. Thank goodness! Nowadays, not only is pain recognized but efforts are made to evaluate its intensity and suppress it, even in the very young.

The moment she arrives at the hospital, Thaïs is taken into the care of a female doctor who specializes in pain management. This is a new discipline in the medical profession. And oh, what a useful one! After a quick but thorough examination, she assesses our daughter’s degree of pain; it’s off the official scale.

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